Thousands of internet users were stunned after a story about a law student shaving his entire body to take a drug test went viral on Wednesday.
In one Publish with over 11,000 votes and 1,000 comments, Redditor u / Enoyafish detailed their Christmas cocaine use and their fear of being tested for drugs. Posted in Reddit’s popular r / tifu, aka “Today IF **** d Up,” u / Enjoyafish’s viral post caught the attention of other Redditors and inspired a thread of hilarious reactions.
Explaining that they had used a significant amount of cocaine on Christmas, the Redditor said that when they left a law class, the class teacher reminded the students that they would need their ID badges the next day. .
“As I walked out of class yesterday the lecturer told me ‘Drug tests tomorrow guys so make sure you bring your ID badges,’ u / Enjoyafish wrote.
u / Enjoyafish said they frantically learned as much as they could about how long the cocaine they consumed over Christmas would be detectable in a drug test. Including that they were convinced they would pass a urine test, OP said they took extreme measures when they learned that cocaine was detectable on hair for months after the last use.
“I shaved my head, hair and even my eyebrows,” they wrote. “I traced the line while plucking my eyelashes.”
According to American addiction centers, cocaine use can be detected through various forms of drug testing, and the substance may persist depending on the type of drug test used. While cocaine can be detected in blood and saliva for up to two days after the last use, the U.S. Drug Addiction Centers report that the substance can be detected in urine for up to three days (this period varies for heavy cocaine users) and is potentially detectable in a hair sample for months or even years.
Although federal drug-free workplace laws require that some federal employers test their employees for drugs, most private employers are not required to have a drug-free workplace policy. no sort.
In November, Law.com detailed a Reddit thread detailing drug use among practicing lawyers and law students. Including a handful of comments from the thread, Law.com revealed widespread drug use across the legal industry and the included comments painted a picture of lax drug testing requirements.
Still, u / Enjoyafish made it clear that they believed they were being tested for drugs and shaved off all of their body hair in the hopes that their recent cocaine use would go undetected. But in a hilarious turn of events, u / Enjoyafish said they were wrong about the drug test and had an embarrassing experience.
“Today’s lesson was about drug testing and we needed our ID badges to enter the building as it was after normal working hours,” they wrote. “Everyone was looking at me… I just said I fell asleep at a party and someone shaved my eyebrows.”
Many Redditors commenting on the viral post shared their employers’ drug testing policies and encouraged OP to avoid cocaine use. Others have used u / Enjoyafish’s drug test debacle as a humor opportunity.
“I guess by shaving almost everything, OP only shows itself to be a potential candidate for a positive result,” wrote Redditor u / ElectricClub2.
“Yeah, going in with all your hair shaved is suspicious as hell,” u / Zanglirex2 added. “A way to sign up for future random drug tests.”
Highlighting an obvious flaw in the original poster’s plan to take a drug test while shaving your entire body, u / RamenJunkie suspected that the original idea may have resulted from what she was trying to prevent.
“Honestly, this solution to shaving off your body hair sounds like the kind of ‘good idea’ that a drug addict would find,” they wrote.
A handful of Redditors explained that some employers are considering shaving off body hair to prevent detection of illegal substances in the same way as a failed drug test, one commenter offered a possible solution to the u / Enjoyafish problem .
“The way to do that is to shave off all of your hair and then stick your dog’s droppings on your body,” u / scifishortstory said, punctuating an already weird Reddit thread.